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Uh, suck it.

Yeah, I really am a slow knitter. People are out there flying through blankets and sweaters. Well I’m not one of those punks. Because while they’re doing a sweater every month or something ri-damn-diculous like that, I’m staring into space thinking, wait, shouldn’t I be working on something? Then when I do start knitting I get distracted by what Netflix has sent me. Especially now that I can watch 30 Rock whenever I feel like it and watch Tracy Jordan drop truth bombs on everyone.

Oh snapple! This is my America’s Next Top Model pose. Also known as my “don’t judge me too hard people, I’m doing this for free” pose. Should I be trying this vest on when it’s for Heather? Probably not, I’m sure my pudgeyness is bending it all sorts of out of shape. Huh, that’s weird, my computers dictionary usually underlines words like didn’t and won’t but it’s saying that pudgeyness is a totally fine word.

Anyways, I fought all kinds of battles with this vest. First it broke one of my needles. Then the measurements were all kinds of wonk and I had to rip out all the ribbing and go back and add a crap ton of inches to the length. However, I was in the end VICTORIOUS. Even if it did take me as much time as it takes these fast knitters to make a sweater… and I made a vest which omits sleeves. Whatever, it’s a new year so la la la la la I can’t hear you. Because this vest is shouting how awesome it is.

Yes, I am this lumpy IRL.

So yeah, go out and knit one for yourself. The construtcion is genius, as pretty much everything Wendy Bernard does is… however that woman must have a midgets torso. I’m convinced she’s so small she can fit in a teacup.

Also this cashemerino is like a dream. It was totally worth all the mathmatical aggravation and futzing to use it. For reals. For reallys. I mean it, for serious guys.

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6 thoughts on “Uh, suck it.

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