Why have I been such a lazy biatch lately….?

Oh yeah, that’s right, because of:

Super Mario Galaxy!!!

Plus there’s other life stuff going on. Silly life. Which I’m sure everyone knows about since I’m terrible about email. People ask me a simple question, like “what’s up” and get back a ten page diary about everything. Isn’t that terrible? It’s like, er, thanks.

Anyways, I don’t know about y’all but my attention span has been shot. If something doesn’t have at least one picture now I start to get antsy. Here’s a picture of my shithead cat:

That’s how she lures you. She lets you take a really nice picture of her, acts all nice and cuddly then BAM, cat puke in the middle of the hall at night. Yick.

Also, it was R4’s birthday the other day (a while ago), so I took some pictures of that. Although, I’ve got to be honest, it’s ridiculously hard to get a picture of R4 where he doesn’t look stoned.

I like this one best because he’s in the family stance: smiling and laughing while also subtly threatening you with a fork. He mentally turned 9, however he’s technically 16 now. Geez. That’s scary. Both him and my stepsister are now 16, they were born on the same day. Friggin creepy to me. What happens when they turn 21? Will I just poof out of existence in a cloud of dust?

Also, I promised you knitting. I’m glad I didn’t promise any specific quality of knitting. Whew!

This is the glove I’m knitting for my MIL. It’s still weird to me that I have a MIL but that’s a different story for another time. These gloves… well, they’re a labor of love. Mostly because of the ridiculous amount of stitch holders I needed for… well everything. I still need to knit the cap and put on the button and blah blah blah before this one is every done. They’re pretty easy to make (once you understand what the hell the pattern wants, don’t think just do) it’s just tedious. I mean. Joyful. Hopefully she’ll put them on and experience all the joy I have had making them. Or to paraphrase Garth: I just hope she doesn’t think they suck.

This is my newest project… Okay guys, it’s story time. Hopefully you already know what my stories are like, so brace yourself. I’m calling this my SWF Sweater. Why? Because I totally got all Single White Female on some poor lady without even realizing I was doing it! That’s how freaking creepy I am. I was on ravelry, checking out what my friends were working on and I love everything this one girl does. LOVE. I saw that she was making this really cool sweater, so I was like, alright! a sweater. Because I’ve been in a serious sweater mood since it got cold. I mean, it’s snowing outside people. Or at least it was an hour ago.

Well, if you’ve talked to me lately you might be wondering why I’m not doing the Simple Knitted Bodice and that’s because of a very ‘me’ excuse, which is that the yarn for that will be hella expensive. Even if I sub out what they call for and get Knit Picks instead. However, this sweater, you can sub out and use some Cotton Ease. Hells yeah! So, I’m going through Ravelry, looking at everyone’s tree jacket. Seeing if Cotton Ease really is a good yarn to use, since my last sweater had yarn substitution “issues“. Well, I saw that even the designers are making one out of it and if it’s good enough for the designers of the pattern, it’s sure good enough for me.

So, we run down to JoAnn’s and yes! they have the yarn I want. However, they have some really wonky colors. They also only have random stray balls of the wonky colors. Except for this one color that my husband seemed to like as he was loading it up and walking away with it before I could even check if it was the right dye lot. (Did he like it or just want to get out of the store ASAP? You be the judge on that one.)

I get home and start knitting. Feeling pretty awesome. I swatch (which I’m going to admit, to everyone’s horror- I usually don’t do) and find out that my needles are too small, so I move up a size and it’s right but the fabric looks really weird. So I’m like, cool, I’ll use the big needles, then switch to the smaller ones for the body. (Okay, this is a really boring story so far and kind of knitting slang heavy but I swear we’re almost there.)

Something clicks in my brain. Wait a second, this all sounds familiar. So I go back and check the person who originally inspired me to do this sweater and I freak out. Not only am I knitting this sweater in the same yarn, it’s the same color. Not only is it the same color, but she also swatched, got gauge on the same size I did but liked the smaller size better so is switching them out at the body.

Oh geez, I’m subconsciously creepy, which is probably worse than being ‘just creepy.’

4 thoughts on “Why have I been such a lazy biatch lately….?

  1. I LOVE love your stories. I am cracking up which is totally needed this morning. I have to go have a medical test this morning and I am a bit freaked out. Not freaked out about the test but freaked out about what might be found. Anyway I love the “shithead” cat pic…. Did you step in the cat yack? A few weeks ago I walked into the kitchen while it was still dark and yep landed right in a pile of COLD cat yack. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww cold cat yack between the toes before coffee isn’t fun.

  2. Oh. My. God. I was just about to start that pattern too. Maybe it’s something in the air…or just a really cool sweater pattern.

    I promise I’ll pick another color though.

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